Find your purpose

Somewhere along the way, I lost my purpose.

There was a time when my life had a distinct purpose, a mission that existed outside of work and family... a true reason for existing that brought me great joy when all else around me seemed to be in chaos.

Somewhere along the way... I've lost that... thing.

So, now - someone that has always had a reason for living that no longer has a reason for living wanders... 

(See... I knew I needed to get back to blogging... helps me stay focused)

I know that my purpose extends beyond work... so... what is it? Lately, it's been escapism, enjoying life... the get-aways... there has to be more to it than that... so...

that... is what I'm going to be working on for the next few days.

Routine

What most people don't like is having a set routine. 

The routine, the grind, or whatever you want to call it has the potential to wear on you after a while. Things become too predictable and life can become bored.

The flip side of the coin is having no routine. Without routine, your life can spin out of control and you will be able to accomplish absolutely nothing.

So... today? I find myself in need of routine.

I need to schedule my life a little bit better now to make sure that I do the things that I should be doing... excercising, working on my personal projects, taking time out for friends... 

This week is going to be dedicated to bringing a little order back into my life.

I am willing to admit it...

I am... a little lost at the moment.

I recently had to take a few steps backwards from all the progress I made after the divorce. I had to... turn off my heart. I HAD to stop feeling in order to get through the ordeal with Shanna.

So now? I don't feel and I'm kind of lost. 

There was a time that I could function like this, but it's been a while and I think I've forgotten how. 

So... what to do... what to do... what to do...

I have got to go back to the  beginning and start re-tracing my steps.

First step? 

Who am I?

I need to remember my identity.

Who am I?

Metaphorically speeking...

Metaphorically speeking... living life is a lot like riding a motorcycle.

You kind of have to look ahead and prepare ahead of time. If you don't there may be consequences. You have to look ahead and anticipate the what's coming up and position yourself accordingly.

Unfortunately, what happens sometimes is that you enjoy the ride sometimes and find yourself a little... out of sorts. You have to react and hope that no oncoming traffic is coming your way.

That's kind of where I am right now. I was enjoying the ride, didn't anticipate, and now that I have reacted to the mistakes that I've made it's time for me to start paying attention.

I need to get back to the basics... back to rule number 1...

Everyone gets judged by time and consistency.

I have so fallen into the trap of seeing what I want to see that I have failed to remember that one key rule. Because I have let one person ruin that balance, my overall equillibrium has been thrown off with others. So... for me? It's back to the basics.

I need to go back to the lessons that I've written here... I need to get back to the basics... I need to start writing here again... it helps keep me centered.

So, blog.. you will hear from me again soon...