I consider myself to be a very altruistic person. I generally think of others before myself... often to my detriment. This has been my mode of operation for years... and now I am beginning to see that this line of thinking doesn't always work.As a result, I've started doing something that has surprised friends of mine.
I've started saying good bye.
It's not that I just hit them with a full on good bye and blind side them... well, to some, it's just a good bye...
But to others... others that I have invested in over the years, I have tried to explain to them the way that they have consistently treated me over the years... that their occasional show of concern that pops up only when I'm not there to listen to what's going on in their world is not quite enough.
I am not sure how everyone has gotten into this twisted self preservation mode.
It's crazy.
You take a moment to get to know someone and all of a sudden they start pulling back whenever there is a hint of closeness.
It frustrates me to no end.
A while ago I wrote about finding my tribe.
What I understand now is that I can't find my tribe because I'm surrounded by too many people that belong to a different way of thinking.
I need to go on a proverbial walkabout and find my people...
The ones that are willing to risk closeness.
1 comment:
I enjoyed this post a lot. You're quite right about the closeness part. It's easier to run whenever people get a tiny bit closer to you then you would have wanted.
Nice blog, lovely to read.
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