Role Models

I have never been one to play the race card... I think that each unique race brings its own unique benefits to the table. I've always tried to be the type of person that would study all ethnicity's and pick the best from each and bring them to the table.

So... the question is... why am I bringing this up today?

I was looking for a picture of a black  couple and was surprised to see how sexually suggestive most of them were. Then I decided to look and see how other races were depicted around the internet. 

So... my question to you today is this... how do you view other races? Do you have any stereotypes?

Live and learn...

So... I decided to try a pre-work out supplement - Jack3d. Under ordinary circumstances, I eat very healthy. I'm 92% vegetarian, I don't ingest caffeine, and I track calories, sodium, sugar, potassium and fat in my diet on nearly a daily basis.

I went to GNC and they suggested that I add a few things to my diet - a multivitamin and a pre-work out supplement.

The multivitamin has turned my urine bright yellow. A side effect of the Vitamin B...

The Jack3d has caffeine. I like the energy that I get from it, but the caffeine dependency - even after 4 days is driving me crazy. 4 days in...and work out is good.

Caffeine

Apparently, most supplements have caffeine. I generally have a caffeine intake of 0mg/day. That's right. I live my life in a caffeine free way. Because I fuel my body in an *ahem* clean way - never taking in anything that is (too) bad, when I start adding things to my regimen I pay attention.

What I'm feeling right now is the caffeine drop off... the drain. I hate this part...

A familiar feeling...

My leg muscles hurt. Primarily my calves and hamstrings. I did day #2 of the insanity work out yesterday. There was a lot of squatting and jumping. Usually, when I head to the gym and work out on the machines (Cybex, treadmill, elliptical, the new fangled stepper thing) - I can work out hard, not bother to stretch and do it again the next day with no issues.

With Insanity... I feel it. my body feels like it had a work out.

This is the 4th or 5th time that I've started Insanity. Generally, my body gives out before I do. I end up suffering from muscle fatigue and I can't make it through the work out by the end of the 2nd week. I see improvements, I just can't sustain the work out.

I eat very cleanly when I do something like this. There's no need to defeat yourself by eating poorly and working out this hard. Although I'm 92% vegetarian, I consume an adequate amount of protein and I supplement with protein bars in between my major meals.

I'm doing something different this time, I'm actually using real supplements!

Here's my eating day:

8am   - Oatmeal

10am - Zone Perfect Bar

12am - Lunch (Usually a chicken, vegetable, pasta medley)

2pm   - Zone Perfect Bar

4pm   - Dinner (Tempeh or Tofu)

I'm using the following supplements:

Jack3d - pre-workout

MDrive - breakfast/lunch

GNC Mega Men Sport - breakfast

We'll see how this works out...

Day 2 of working out...

As much as I complain about working out, there are interesting benefits that I do like, For example, after only working out for 2 days I actually stand taller. It's almost like the muscles have awakened and they're sayiung "yes! we're being used again!!!"

The hardest part is going ot the gym... alone. Starting a high intensity work out... alone... And pushing myself as hard as I can because if I don't do it, no-one will. It's the ultimate test of self-discipline. The thing that I need to really grasp is that "if I can excel in this... I can excel in anything." SO I need to carry this drive over into other aspects of my life. Right?

There are so many areas that I rely on raw talent, that if I added discipline, I would be a super star.

Anyway... those are my motivational thoughts for the day.

Get-r-done!

Day 1... finished...

It truly is amazing how quickly you can get out of shape. 

I completed Day 1 of Insanity... again, and it completely kicked my but. Not too long ago, I was in the gym 5 days/week. I would do an intensive cardio work out, a little strength training... it felt good. I made the mistake of going roller skating and tweaking my knee. I took a couple weeks off... ate really poorly... the scale didn't say that I gained weight, but I could kind of feel it in the way that fat weighs less than muscle.

Anyway... I went to the gym... did the fit test... and WOW... what? It kicked my butt. The numbers were around the same as they were when I started Insanity the 1st time over 1 1/2 years ago. It was like all the progress that I made... had been stifled.

No worries tho... I'm back on track.

This time? No stopping until I'm under 200 pounds!

The First Day...

After a few false starts, I'm starting the Insanity work out... again. I plan on eating cleanly. Doing all 6 days of the work out... I will... I WILL get this done...

What do you dare???

On my way home today I stopped by a rest area on the highway and took a picture of a monument that states: "We dare defend our rights." The sun was behind me, so there was no way that I could take the picture without my shadow in the picture. I boldly centered myself in the picture... and "snap!"

In looking at the picture, I saw something that I don't usually see when I look in the mirror... and that is - how far my spare tire extends over my waist. Wow... I'm fat.

So... what do I dare?

I dare to buck the trend of being in one of the fattest states... I'm all into eating healthy... exercising... getting fit. 

I have my life in line... my blog helped with that. Now? I have to get my health in line.

Here's to my battle of the bulge!

On small step for man...

Lately, life seems to be a  little too "one step forward, to steps back" for me.

Not in the sense that there's anything wrong with married life. I have married the most incredible woman on the planet. There is so much love, respect, and cooperation abounding that it makes my first 16 year marriage seem like it was run by a bunch of 5th graders with a limited trust fund - recklessly dysfunctional.

It's all the other things that are messing with my 2011 action plan.

I'm still trying to manage life in 3 different cities... this causes havoc in my monetary and dietary goals.

Honestly, my diet has been LOUSY for the last 3 weeks... I admit it, part of it is completely stress related.

So... what am I going to do about this?

Discipline.

I need to get back to a disciplined lifestyle.

So let it be.

Yeah... not so much...

When I was a teenager I wasn't the type of person that attracted good looking women. I was always the friend.

When I was in my 20's, it wasn't much different... but I DID get my first "real" girlfriend. She weighed at least 50 pounds more than me. Didn't quite know what to do with a girlfriend, but we had a child and were married for 15 years.

When we divorced, and I started dating again, it was more of the same... the world wasn't ready for someone that was nice and genuine as me. I had a lot of first dates.. not very many 2nd dates. I dated a few women - but none of them lasted over 3 months. Primarily because I didn't want to compromise. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone that was shallow or needed to be in a relationship. In my mind, I raised one wife, couldn't raise another one.

So, now I'm in my early 40's... I met this incredible woman... married her. 

More on this topic later... 

catching up...

Okay... so, I was doing this strange countdown until my marriage... right? Well... the task has been done. We're married now. The one thing that I'm sure of is that I've chosen well. I have chosen the most incredible woman that matches my personality well.

Why is it so important that she match my personality? Why can't we match each others personality?

That, my friend, is a good question...

My personality can be a little... obnoxious. I admit it.

I like open and honest communication. Even if it makes me uncomfortable. I really want to know what's going on inside your head.

I don't like leaving things unresolved.

I obsess over problems or open action items.

More later... just wanted to bring the countdown to closure...

8 Days...

   In 8 days and 13 hours I will be a married man.

   People ask me 2 questions now, which are pretty annoying to me:

1. Are you nervous?
2. Are you excited?

   When I answer no to each question, people always say "I would be..."

   Okay, so maybe it's no to being nervous... because I chose well...

   Excited... not so much... annoyed is more like it. Why did we choose a date so far out???!!!

Same shirt

 Today I am wearing the same shirt not the same shirt as yesterday, but the shirt but I've dubbed the "same shirt."
I call it the "same shirt" because I purchased it when I was 285 pounds with the intent of being able to fit in it one day.

Today it represents an unfinished job.

I can button the "same shirt"  but the job isn't done yet. I don't have a flat stomach. I still have a little "dunlop" where although my stomach hasn't "done lopped" over my belt... It still protrudes further than it needs to.

I need to finish the job... I need to lose another 30 pounds... at a minimum.

So... today, I'm 225... back to where I stopped the first time...

Now, it's time to finish the job!

True Love Waits

The interesting thing about having been married before is that you know what sex is. You know how awesome it is to be with the person that you love and to fully be able to give yourself to that person. It's an awesome thing.

To some degree, I think we have cheapened sexuality by exploiting it when we see someone that we're attracted to or just for the sake of horniness.

My fiancée and I have both been married. My marriage ended in divorce and hers ended with the death of her husband. So we both have had sex in the confines of a marriage.

The hardest thing for us was not going "there" while we were dating.

So... she wears 2 rings. An engagement ring... and a promise ring.

15 days... and the promise is fulfilled.

The countdown says...

So... in 15 days I will no longer be a single man. I'll be married. I will have a wife. I will be a husband.

Interesting.

So... how do I feel about this?

That's a good questions.

I feel good.

I mean, the first time I got married out of obligation. I married this woman that I barely knew that I knocked up when I was in college. For 15 years we had a really weird relationship based upon the fact that we had a family together and really not much else in common.

To some degree, she resented me for her predicament, and if I had to be totally honest - I probably held some resentment too.

The result of all of this was that I truly became gun shy and I never thought that I would marry again. I set my expectations very high and I was ready to end things at the drop of a hat.

I always believed that I would settle down if I found that one person that got relationship the way that I did, but when it comes to dating, I was pretty sure that my viewpoint was definitely not the norm.

I mean... open and honest communication. Who does that? Everyone basically lives in some weird sort of shame...

Trust? Everyone has been done wrong a million times, so trust is hard earned.

Faith in God? That impacts the way you live your life??? Mostly in word only, never in deed or action.

That's where I set my bar.

I also thought that I could teach someone these things... thus the 2 year plan. Learn my system...

But you can't teach someone how to be something that they naturally are... so I changed my tact. I started looking for people that naturally possessed these qualities.

Well... I found her.

In 15 days we'll be married.

And in my mind... that's the way it should have been since the beginning.... so, I'm at peace.

Going Commando!!!

In the spirit of TMI (Too Much Information - for the uninitiated...) here's my story for the day...

I've been hitting the gym daily. I generally go before work. It's great... I basically burn somewhere between 500 and 800 calories 4 to 5 days a week. I get up in the morning, iron my clothes, head out the door... the...

• 30 minutes on the treadmill
• 30 minutes on the bike
• 30 minutes on the elliptical

Then, I take a shower, dress, head to work...

BUT... for the last week, I've forgotten my underwear! So... I roll into work au natural.

It's liberating...

Okay, now back to work...

17 Days...

So... we're 17 days away from the wedding. I can honestly say that time is c.r.a.w.l.i.n.g. by. It's moving slowly.

So... what's on my mind? Well, honestly, the wedding. There are some things that absolutely need to be done. We have figured out what I'm going to wear. FINALLY. We've figured out what the boys are going to wear... my 3... her 1...

I'm not going to wear a suit. I'm wearing a linen shirt and linen pants. White and tan. The boys are going to be in black shirts tan pants. It should be a nice contrast for the wedding.

Honestly, I'm looking forward to getting away for the week. Since 1992 I'm not sure that I've ever taken more than a 4 days... and those usually were around a weekend. I think the longest trip that I ever took was to Bermuda. Other than that, it was just a weekend away here or there.

I'm looking forward to taking my first week long trip. We're going on our honeymoon to an undisclosed location in the mountains.

Anyway.... more to come...

24 Days and counting

Well... it's 24 days until my wedding, and what's on my mind? Dr. Braggs Liquid Aminos!

Well, my friend, you're probably wondering what I'm wondering... "what are liquid aminos?"

It's a soy sauce that vegetarians use in order to add flavor to things like tempeh...

25 Days and Counting...

So... in 25 days I'm going to get married. For all the people that thought that this day would never come... it is, and it's coming fast. So, what's on my mind today?

TEMPEH

What is tempeh? It's a vegetarian protein that you can cook and serve in a number of ways... good stuff...

Back on target

This has been a very good year in some ways and a bad year in other ways. In good ways, I have been working on planning a marriage with a woman that I truly love. It has taken me a long time to find her, and I can say that she is perfect for me - and believe me - my normal scrutinizing eye hasn't changed.

On the bad side, my diet has SUCKED!

I have been sedentary at work, as the nature of my job... then in the evenings, I'm on the phone with Lisa... so the pounds have started to add up.

This is a bad thing because it goes against my mantra "Once a pound is lost, it stays lost."

Well, 5 of those pounds found their way home and brought 15 of their closest friends to party around my mid-section. (For those slow on the uptake, I've gained 20 pounds.)

I have to admit that all of it wasn't because I ate poorly... I was trying to eat well. My overall goal was to drop my sodium intake to about 1500mg/day based on something that I read. I also needed to hit about 1800 calories/day. The problem with doing that was that I chose to supplement with various nuts (peanuts, almonds, pepitas, etc.) because they are high in protein, low in sodium and a handful is about 120 calories... great snack.

The problem with adding nuts is that they are not filling.... so I always had this "hungry" feeling - so I would eat more... you got it... nuts! So, I inadvertently went from 1800 calories a day to about 3000. 3000 calories + a sedentary lifestyle = weight gain.

It took me a second to figure that out.

Now? I'm back on track!