There are times where I wish I could be a social drinker. But I also know my personality. I don't believe in half doing anything. When I take up a hobby... I want to perfect it.
If I drank, I know it would be in excess... and that it wouldn't stop.
First, I would drink to find out what I like... what I don't like. There would be no moderation in this... Because I would be fascinated to know how my tastes changed the more I drank...
If I don't like this now would I like it later?
I would want to experiment with what would get me buzzed the quickest... what maintains the buzz?
I would be curious about what it would take to get me to the point where I couldn't remember what happened.
It would be methodical... It would be controlled... It would become an obsession... until it was no longer in my control.
See... I know that.
I don't have to put drink to lips to understand that.
By the same token, it makes it very difficult to be in social settings with people that do drink. Not because there is a pull or a temptation for me to drink, but because when you're not drinking... you no longer fit in with those that are.
I may be comfortable with who I am, but knowing how or where I fit in is harder.
1 comment:
You sound like a smart man if you already know you'd obsess about alcohol. Trust me when I say there are people who don't use alcohol or drugs. It's just tedious at times to find them.
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