I am a control freak... but I realize that the only thing that I can control is me.
I'm very good at dialing in how I present myself from the way that I talk, the way that I carry myself to the way I dress.
This is both good and bad.
It's good because it allows me to make good choices and decisions and avoid making bad ones.
It's bad because it allows me to make good choices and decisions and avoid making bad ones.
It's why I don't drink. It's why I don't ever completely let myself be spontaneous. It's why I keep people at arms length until I'm comfortable enough to open up.
Because, in my mind... I am predictable. Loyal to a fault...
Since I can't control the actions of others I generally wait to see who they are... then, I open up.
But lately I've been playing with the dials... I think I found the one that will help me open up a bit earlier.
I can't wait to see what happens when I let my guard down. I think I'm getting better at it. I mean, before - I wouldn't have gone through this whole - "getting to know me" in the public forum of a blog.
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