Who is holding the pen???

Basically, building a relationship is like trying to sketch something. I have a firm idea as to what it is going to look like.

If you want to work on this blueprint with me... you can't hold my pen.

I am allowed to be the primary architect, but my expectation is for whoever I am with to look over my shoulder to make sure that I don't do something crazy.

If she notices something that might be cool, I will listen intently - ask questions... I may even hand the pen to her and let her draw. But... I'm going to be looking over her shoulder.

Roughly translated? As long as I honor her by listening and as long as she doesn't snatch the pen we'll be okay.

I think that kind of sums up our metaphorical conversation.

Of course, she's been using her own pen for such a long time, it's kind of scary for her to put her pen away... fold up her own blueprints and look at the one we've been working on for the last almost 2 months... but she's willing.

That's a special thing.

Of course, I reassured her by reminding her that every time she's had something to say I would always listen and ask questions.

When we're done... we may not just build a house... we may end up with a home.