Maybe I need to blog...

I've always said that blogging is a way for me to figure out what's going on in my own head... a kind of free writing that allows the things that I really don't want to admit to come out.

For the last few days I've been hidden in my house like I'm some kind of fugitive hiding from the law.

I have wanted to talk with people, but haven't wanted to talk with people.

I've wanted to be surrounded by my friends but not really wanting to see anyone at all.

In all of this, I had a friend ask me - "But, do you miss me?"

It took me 3 weeks to realize that I miss my own Dad.

I'm not sure that I've grieved the loss yet. I've just kind of put it on the back burner and haven't thought about it at all. So the question is... how shall I mourn the loss of my Dad.

Knowing that we'll never share that sly look and smile - the inside joke that we shared so many times...

If you could tell me how to properly do that.. I'll gladly move on... but until then? I think I'm going to match socks or something.