Two paths

So... yesterday in the middle of a school parking lot I was yelling at X at the top of my lungs. (For the uninitiated, X is what I call my ex wife.)

We have been divorced for 2 years and regardless of the number of times I ask to see progress reports, to be kept informed with what's going on with the boys, I never hear a thing... that is... until I get a call from the principal at the school because there's an issue.

I am the type of parent that likes to pro-actively partner with the child and the school in order to come up with solutions and give the child the tools they need to be successful. X likes to go in and make excuses because the child has no responsibility in her opinion. Delightful.

So... in the parking lot, when she asked me to help, and she said no to every solution that I had to offer - and I asked her what her ideas were and she said - "you can figure it out..." I completely lost it.

Why is it so hard for her to realize that as primary custodian - she's like the front-line manager. If she doesn't let me know what the problems are, she can't expect me, a key stakeholder, to come in and resolve the problem while it's still fixable.

So... We both have 2 paths.

She can continue with the path that she is on... or she can partner with me.
I can expect her to change... or I can assert myself more into the life of the boys.

The problem with that is unless she does her part. Unless she follows up... all my efforts are for nothing.

Frustrating.