Hold on tight...

Okay... I am about to rant... so for those of you who may be easily offended about what I may have to say about Mom's... don't read any further.

My Mother has issues. Serious issues.

For starters, she is a habitual liar. She will lie to you as easily as saying hello. She does it regularly and consistently. This is usually not a problem until she started involving me with her lies.

Having gone through divorce counselling there is one thing that I have learned... it's never a good idea to be an enabler. So, being the good son that I am, I decided to bring it to her attention whenever she chose to lie. I think it was shocking for her to realize exactly how much she actually did this.

After 2 days of holding her feet to the flame for 2 days she decided to accuse me of lying as well and said we all do it. My reply was that I don't lie. I have no need to, I will tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. The truth... is the truth. It's far easier to tell it than to try to remember lies.

So, Mom started questioning me on comments that I had made, and I was telling her that they were all true and it ended in a VICIOUS attack on who I am as a person.

Mom: You said you were interested in this woman in Atlanta.

Me: Yes, Shanna

Mom: But you said you went out with this woman up the road.

Me: Yes, Relationships are 2 way streets. It takes two people to be interested.

Mom: You said your house were selling your house, but you're always up there.

Me: Mom, you see the news. No houses are selling

Mom: You said you see your sons every other weekend.

Me: Yes, I do

Mom: But you say you're going to see this weekend.

Me: They are my sons. I am going to see them as much as possible.

Mom: Next thing you're going to do is tell me you have a boyfriend.

I was like - wha? wha? Did you say what I think you said? 

I walked out the door and replied - you... have issues.

When I got home there was a message on my answering machine. There was no apology, simply a statement:

"I am your Mom, yes, I said Mom. And you will respect me as your Mom. What you said was completely uncalled for"

Mom is a mean, manipulative. lying, woman. That's not being disrespectful. It's an observation.

A truthful observation.

She fails to see when she says something that is hurtful.

She has an inability to apologize.

She is enabled by her children who are forgiving and allow her to get away with this behavior.

I refuse to allow this to happen. I will not enable her. 

Ever.

I didn't talk with her the decade of the 90's because she had an issue with the fact that I played with my sons who were 9 months and 4 years old at the time. Her reply was:

"You're their father, they need to respect you... you should play with them."

My reply then was, you had your chance at being a parent...

Anyway, I spoke with my brothers and sisters last night. They each had their own horror stories.

I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters.

1 brother didn't come home for Dad's funeral because of Mom.

1 sister only came because it was Dad... and for appearance sake.

Half of my siblings would be content if they never saw her again. They call on the phone and take her in small doses, but it's manageable and controlled.

My 2nd oldest brother attempted to say these words to "comfort" me...

"We have all gone through periods where we said we were never going home again because of Mom, but now that Dad is gone, she's the only parent that we have... and one day, we she won't be here."

Well, sorry Bro. I'm not that sentimental.