What is love???

This has been a very interesting couple of months.

Although I admit that I have learned a lot about relationships, I have a lot that I have had to learn about love.

The last few months have learned more about love than I care to.

Let me see if I can explain my dating life over the last 2  years I have been interested in women that were hundreds of miles away... Indiana, Colorado, North Carolina, Tennessee... no one closer than 4 1/2 hours away from where I live.

Part of that was because I really wasn't ready to haveanyone close to where I live. It was the best way to have an exit strategy because I didn't want to have a relationship with my heart even though my head was telling me different.

In February, I met someone that I will only call... Ms. Pumpkin.

When I met Ms. Pumpkin there was this instant chemistry.

She was exactly what I was looking for. And vice-versa. We really dug each each other. And not in the way that most post-modern relationships work where it's a race to get to the bedroom. We were maybe 3 dates in before we shared our first kiss... fireworks!

The primary problem was that as soon as she trusted me enough to allow me to meet her daughter (5) and her family, her ex-boyfriend came into play.

She has seen this guy on and off for 10 years. He has never committed, but just wants to be jealous and over protective when a guy another guy comes into play.

Ms. Pumpkin feels a bit of loyalty for this guy, although I'm not 100% sure why. But she has this need to get him out of her system, so for the last month I have had to deel with her trying to work things out with a man that won't even so much as take her out on a date.

Today... is Friday. It's the date that she gives him "The Ultimatum" - to commit or leave her the heck alone.

As hard as this is for me, and as much as I care, when Monday comes around I may have to leave her... for good. I cannot be her plan B make her feel good.

Below... is the last e-mail that she sent me.

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I know that I frustrate you I frustrate me for the love of God . I know that you respect me and that you really would be fantastic for me and (my daughter) . I know this or I would have never considered getting to know you in the first place . I don't do that alot . I miss you when we don't talk . I do get upset with you when you think i am just out for me and that i dont get what you are saying or doing or that you are real I know that you are real! I struggle with the fact that i might watch you slip away bc i am focused on what I think is suppose to happen . i might miss my mark but if i do I cant blame anyone but me . You have been fabulous and wonderful ! I love every minute of getting to know you . I know that we still have a path ahead of us ! Dont give up on us just yet .. I dont mean DONT date I mean go about your way but dont totally close your eyes on me ... i am still here i am just slower alot slower than normal ... I will talk to you soon ! Sweetness!