Emergency incision!!!

Okay... I'm still in Birmingham. Flight doesn't leave for a few more hours, but I have to make this emergency incision. It's been on my mind all day... So I have to examine this.

I started going to kindergarden in Italy. Since our family "lived on the economy" (not on the air force base, but in the city with the native Italians) getting to and from school for a half day was something that needed to be planned.

The Air Force base used to send a station wagon (official, military blue variety) to pick up Jon W., Vicki H. and me.

I don't remember much about the trips except 2 incidents.

1) Jon, Vicki and I used to play "show me yours and I'll show you mine" on the long trips to and from school. Now, this in itself is actually pretty normal because all kids play the game. The only thing odd about the game was that I remember the driver watching.

I don't remember him saying anything or participating... but I do recall him watching. Sometimes, if I close my face and think hard enough, I can almost make out what his face looks like.

2) I remember a big fight between Jon, Vicki and me. I'm not sure what it was about. I do remember it being awfully violent for 5 year olds. And again... I remember the same driver being there - almost encouraging the activity.

After that, I have no recollection of ever riding with them to school again.

I do have memories of waiting for my older brother and sister after school. But that's it.

I often wonder what really happened and why I can't remember it.

I can count the number of times a year the memories of this incident climbs into my head. Maybe 10 or 15 times a year... every year... for the last 33 years.

Always equally as vivid.

It's usually followed by an intense desire to find Jon and Vicki and find out what ever happened to them... what they remember... but I've never been able to find them.

How do I feel about this?

I don't. It's usually fleeting

It's always just been a memory that I've had. I have never had any feelings associated with it, nor have I ever talked about this with anyone.

Ever.

How do I feel about it now?

I don't.

I've never thought about it or spoke the words a loud.

How do I feel about putting this out there for all to read?

Afraid... no... afraid may be the wrong word.

Disappointed.