Sunday, January 25, 2009

Dazed AND Confused...

Okay. I had an epiphany of sorts today. 

Church was awesome. We had a guest minister talk about what it means to be who we are in terms of our relationship with Christ and the implications that the choice to be Christian in more than a lip service manner has on our life.

He basically said "you can't say one thing and live another way, it's a lie... either you believe and it has meaning in your life or you're really not what you say you are."

Ouch harsh words.

Then... we had Deacon/Elder training. It was basically reiterated - the serious nature of what it means to be a leader in the church.

So... it was solidified in my life at that moment: forget the whole notion of dating for a moment and concentrate on living in the grace of God.

I said good bye to a lot of people, took my profile down from the dating site...

Well, tonight, I went to a jazz club. It was suppose to be an open mic night where people could play, but there was a jazz band there that was pretty good. This really attractive blond woman comes over to me and starts a conversation. I behave... Good.

Then... a 20 something Midwestern girl comes over. Jet black hair, red lipstick, slightly drunk, rolling her own unfiltered cigarette type comes over and is in full flirt mode. She's from Wisconsin and working down here now, and completely not into the whole southern outlook on life. Clearly the hottest woman in the room comes over to me... puts her number in my phone and says we should hang out.

It's just odd.

You go through the whole internet dating thing where you feel like you're being judged... so you just give up... then something like this happens.

Now, I know she's not my type. But she may be fun to hang out with. We'll see.

Sometimes, I just don't get life.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ouch...

My heart hurts.

For the past few weeks I have been talking with a delightful young lady that we'll call Tab. Tab and I actually really clicked. I mean... there are people that were interesting to me in the past that I've dated for a number of reasons, but it's rare that I meet someone that I genuinely click with.

This happened with Tab. It wasn't an I think you're a hottie/cutie I want to kiss you kind of way, but in a genuine heart to heart kind of way. It's rare to make that kind of connection. Especially for me.

Well, the currently, her Mom said that she would "disown" her if she dated me solely based upon race.

She wants to continue to see me... but it's awkward.

I am sad.


Curioser and Curiouser...

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't drink.

However, it completely amazes me the number of times that I get drunk dialed and drunk texted. It's amazing.

If anyone could explain to me why this happens I would appreciate it.

Now, although I sometimes get the drunk dial that says "Why can't we be together? You do love me, don't you?"

What I get more often is... 
  • I'm drunk and I'm driving home, just stay on the phone with me. (Yes, I get that from a LOT of people)
Maybe, just maybe... I'm just on a lot of peoples mind and they just need to loosen their inhibitions in order to really appreciate me?

All I know is that my life is odd. And it's getting more odd every day.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Learning lessons...

When people say "I love you" it's not always healthy.

Sometimes, it's an act of desperation, sometimes it's an act of self preservation... rarely is it truly pure.

The object is to... find pure love.

Harder than you think. It's difficult to peer into someones heart and see if their intentions and motives are pure.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

It's nice to be recognized...

I am a very principalled individual. I live my life by a set of ideals that a lot of people don't really grasp. And basically, I hold out hope that the type of person that I'm looking for will eventually grasp that and come out of the woodworks and hunt me down.

I meet a lot of people. I meet a lot of great people. However, there's these things that I'm looking for that I can't compromise on.

So... I really decided to put it all out there and make it plane - explain what I'm really looking for in painstakingly exscruciating detail... and I received this in response:

I wanted to tell you that your profile is one of the very few I have found compelling in a really long time. You seem like someone I would like to have in my life... as a friend or more. But obviously you are so far away that isn\'t possible. But I just wanted to tell you I read your profile and I approve... I can tell you have a good momma  Good luck


Makes me feel good...