iTired

Okay... Well, as many of you know, my ex-wife and I have finalized our agreement. Once the final papers are in, I'm going to officially be a free man.

Of course, a wise man once said: "Freedom ain't free" - I'm beginning to see precicely what is meant by that.

When I calculate was I lost from the perspective of alimony and child support... it causes me pain. A pain in my heart... not because I miss my ex, but because it "hurts me to my heart" to have to write a check THAT large.

Anyway... in order to balance things out, I had to get a second job. I have a great job, but it's a 40 hour/week job.

So, let's see... I do 50 hours at my first job, then 40 at my second job. With all these jobs, iTired.

But it's well worth it. The sleep at night is good... it's peaceful and restful.

I miss the boys, but it will all balance out over time.

Speaking of my sons... had them over this weekend. I have stories to tell and pictures regarding their visit as well.

Ciao.

Friday the 13th...

I am not supersticious... not in the least. But, today has been a less than stellar day.

For starters, my ex walked into my house while I was getting ready for work. Yep, walking around stark naked - she just popped into the house to take yet and still another item.

Somehow, a fair and equitable division of property to her means "take everything that's not nailed down".

I found out that my ex has added to her list of items removed... TADA ... the lawn mower, electric hedge trimmers AND the weed whacker.

At this point, it's kind of humorous to me.

I can't wait to see what other things get added to her never ending list... maybe I should check my underwear drawer...

Alone... but not alone

Well... this is my first series of posts on having an empty house.

The interesting thing is that I would often feel alone when everyone was here. Not so much when the boys were here but when my ex was here.

I always had a great time with the boys were here, but when they were gone and it was just the 2 of us... I remember overwhelming feelings of loneliess.

Now, there's a peace. I'm not sure if the peace is because I'm really busy putting this place in order. Only time will tell.

But for now... I'm alone... but I don't feel alone.

What makes a house a home?

Is it the memories? Is it the people that live in it? Is it the physical structure? Is it the place that you sleep?

I guess I'm about to find out.

My never ending divorce is now virtually over. My ex is moving out of the house... and with her - our sons.

This, to me is a heartbreak like no other.

I miss sitting down and having Caleb come and climb in my lap on a regular basis or climbing on my back just to be close.

Jam sessions with Joshua laying down the rhythms on the drums.

Christopher telling stories of his might sports exploits including sound effects.

I can tell you that my home is more like a house without having them there.

I'm trying to rearrange the house so that a shrine isn't set up to where they used to be...

But how do you make something this abnormal normal?

I think I'm going to dedicated this blog to the time that I spend with them... That's the best that I can do for now...