That drowning feeling...

I don't get it.

People are suppose to enjoy relationships.

I always feel like I'm drowning.

I am seeing a woman that is interested in me for me. She listens, is rational... slightly more emotionally detached at times than I'm comfortable with...

She gives me space when I want it, understands balance...

Tonight, I'm going to give her an excuse to run.

She wants a child.

My youngest are 14.

If I wanted to have children my timeline would be something like this:

• Date for 2 years
• Engaged for 1 year
• Solidify the marriage for 5 years
• THEN start trying to have kids

That's 8 years before trying and I will be in my late 40's by then and she will be nearing 40. I would not be able to give this child all the energy I gave mine. Scout leading, coaching, running around playing football. Right now I can still get out there and be competitive on the b'ball courts with my 17 year old and his friends and intend to be in better shape when my twins are that age.

I wonder if that's what the drowning feeling comes from?