Same shirt

 Today I am wearing the same shirt not the same shirt as yesterday, but the shirt but I've dubbed the "same shirt."
I call it the "same shirt" because I purchased it when I was 285 pounds with the intent of being able to fit in it one day.

Today it represents an unfinished job.

I can button the "same shirt"  but the job isn't done yet. I don't have a flat stomach. I still have a little "dunlop" where although my stomach hasn't "done lopped" over my belt... It still protrudes further than it needs to.

I need to finish the job... I need to lose another 30 pounds... at a minimum.

So... today, I'm 225... back to where I stopped the first time...

Now, it's time to finish the job!

True Love Waits

The interesting thing about having been married before is that you know what sex is. You know how awesome it is to be with the person that you love and to fully be able to give yourself to that person. It's an awesome thing.

To some degree, I think we have cheapened sexuality by exploiting it when we see someone that we're attracted to or just for the sake of horniness.

My fiancée and I have both been married. My marriage ended in divorce and hers ended with the death of her husband. So we both have had sex in the confines of a marriage.

The hardest thing for us was not going "there" while we were dating.

So... she wears 2 rings. An engagement ring... and a promise ring.

15 days... and the promise is fulfilled.

The countdown says...

So... in 15 days I will no longer be a single man. I'll be married. I will have a wife. I will be a husband.

Interesting.

So... how do I feel about this?

That's a good questions.

I feel good.

I mean, the first time I got married out of obligation. I married this woman that I barely knew that I knocked up when I was in college. For 15 years we had a really weird relationship based upon the fact that we had a family together and really not much else in common.

To some degree, she resented me for her predicament, and if I had to be totally honest - I probably held some resentment too.

The result of all of this was that I truly became gun shy and I never thought that I would marry again. I set my expectations very high and I was ready to end things at the drop of a hat.

I always believed that I would settle down if I found that one person that got relationship the way that I did, but when it comes to dating, I was pretty sure that my viewpoint was definitely not the norm.

I mean... open and honest communication. Who does that? Everyone basically lives in some weird sort of shame...

Trust? Everyone has been done wrong a million times, so trust is hard earned.

Faith in God? That impacts the way you live your life??? Mostly in word only, never in deed or action.

That's where I set my bar.

I also thought that I could teach someone these things... thus the 2 year plan. Learn my system...

But you can't teach someone how to be something that they naturally are... so I changed my tact. I started looking for people that naturally possessed these qualities.

Well... I found her.

In 15 days we'll be married.

And in my mind... that's the way it should have been since the beginning.... so, I'm at peace.

Going Commando!!!

In the spirit of TMI (Too Much Information - for the uninitiated...) here's my story for the day...

I've been hitting the gym daily. I generally go before work. It's great... I basically burn somewhere between 500 and 800 calories 4 to 5 days a week. I get up in the morning, iron my clothes, head out the door... the...

• 30 minutes on the treadmill
• 30 minutes on the bike
• 30 minutes on the elliptical

Then, I take a shower, dress, head to work...

BUT... for the last week, I've forgotten my underwear! So... I roll into work au natural.

It's liberating...

Okay, now back to work...

17 Days...

So... we're 17 days away from the wedding. I can honestly say that time is c.r.a.w.l.i.n.g. by. It's moving slowly.

So... what's on my mind? Well, honestly, the wedding. There are some things that absolutely need to be done. We have figured out what I'm going to wear. FINALLY. We've figured out what the boys are going to wear... my 3... her 1...

I'm not going to wear a suit. I'm wearing a linen shirt and linen pants. White and tan. The boys are going to be in black shirts tan pants. It should be a nice contrast for the wedding.

Honestly, I'm looking forward to getting away for the week. Since 1992 I'm not sure that I've ever taken more than a 4 days... and those usually were around a weekend. I think the longest trip that I ever took was to Bermuda. Other than that, it was just a weekend away here or there.

I'm looking forward to taking my first week long trip. We're going on our honeymoon to an undisclosed location in the mountains.

Anyway.... more to come...

24 Days and counting

Well... it's 24 days until my wedding, and what's on my mind? Dr. Braggs Liquid Aminos!

Well, my friend, you're probably wondering what I'm wondering... "what are liquid aminos?"

It's a soy sauce that vegetarians use in order to add flavor to things like tempeh...

25 Days and Counting...

So... in 25 days I'm going to get married. For all the people that thought that this day would never come... it is, and it's coming fast. So, what's on my mind today?

TEMPEH

What is tempeh? It's a vegetarian protein that you can cook and serve in a number of ways... good stuff...

Back on target

This has been a very good year in some ways and a bad year in other ways. In good ways, I have been working on planning a marriage with a woman that I truly love. It has taken me a long time to find her, and I can say that she is perfect for me - and believe me - my normal scrutinizing eye hasn't changed.

On the bad side, my diet has SUCKED!

I have been sedentary at work, as the nature of my job... then in the evenings, I'm on the phone with Lisa... so the pounds have started to add up.

This is a bad thing because it goes against my mantra "Once a pound is lost, it stays lost."

Well, 5 of those pounds found their way home and brought 15 of their closest friends to party around my mid-section. (For those slow on the uptake, I've gained 20 pounds.)

I have to admit that all of it wasn't because I ate poorly... I was trying to eat well. My overall goal was to drop my sodium intake to about 1500mg/day based on something that I read. I also needed to hit about 1800 calories/day. The problem with doing that was that I chose to supplement with various nuts (peanuts, almonds, pepitas, etc.) because they are high in protein, low in sodium and a handful is about 120 calories... great snack.

The problem with adding nuts is that they are not filling.... so I always had this "hungry" feeling - so I would eat more... you got it... nuts! So, I inadvertently went from 1800 calories a day to about 3000. 3000 calories + a sedentary lifestyle = weight gain.

It took me a second to figure that out.

Now? I'm back on track!