Saturday, January 26, 2008

Maku mozo!

"Don't be deluded" - "Don't Daydream"
It's an interesting philosophy. Keep your eye on the prize.
This has been a very rough 2008. But things are looking up.
Dad is out of the hospital and in a rehab facility where he is getting physical therapy - getting stronger. He's talking. Was moving. Until he fell. Minor setback. But hopefully, now that he's out of the hospital, he's keeping his eye on the prize and is concentrating on getting well.
From my perspective - the job hunt is going SLOW. I had my first interview. It was a good interview for a position that I would love to have... but I can't be deluded. I have to concentrate. Stay focused.
The interesting thing is this...
When I was married - when I had our sons living here, my ex-wife - an intact family I used to wallow in depression. A LOT.
Incapacitating depression.
I've talked about it before. The depression was based on despair and an incredible feeling of being alone.
Now, I am alone.
Now, I am jobless.
Now, I have every reason to experience hopelessness, depression... but you know what?
I emotionally feel... good.
Well, scratch that... I'm still kind of numb (I've talked about that before too). I don't feel.
But I am not depressed.
And I am not deluded or daydreaming.
I am... trying to find focus.


Jimmy said...

You know, you seem different since she's been gone. I know you miss your boys, but I can see the "better" in you. I'm glad. &=)

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