So... I would like to go on a date. But honestly, what makes a good date? Before I'm put into a position where I have to come up with an idea on the fly, it's probably a good idea to spend some time thinking about this.
The first thing that I did was look online. AskMen.Com makes the following suggestions: (I'm listing them all because I hope you'll start laughing as hard as I did... the editorial comments are theirs, not mine...)
1. Hot Air Balloon Ride (with her hanging on to you because she is afraid of heights)
2. Massage
3. Catered meal (It might cost some extra money, but at least there's a chance that you won't have to drive her home!)
4. Roof Terrace
5. Limo Ride
6. Psychic
7. Golf
8. Go-Karting
9. Casino
10. Picnic
11. Amusement Park ( she won't have a chance to get bored_
12. Concert
13. Mini Golf (A cheap and fairly easy "sport," it allows for some physical contact when you have to give her a crash course on how to hold the putter.)
14. Billiards (You can raise the stakes by saying, "Whoever loses the game must cook supper for the other." And just like that, you've got yourself a second round of love.)
15. The Beach (This is the perfect way to enjoy the sun, show off your new swimsuit and see what she looks like in a bikini. And if all else fails, there is still enough eye candy to keep you busy.)
Honestly... sometimes I wonder how we as a species manage to continue if these are our mating rituals... then, when I look at the number of failed relationships that are out there it all comes into a sharp focus.
So, here are my thoughts on the topic...
First, I honestly don't think that dating is the best way to get to know someone. I think it would be best if you spent some time talking first, before you get to the point of thinking about dating. Dating adds so many complications... you can easily get distracted by the smell of perfume, her subtle curves, the way she looks at you and smiles...
It's important to stay focused. After all, if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you have got to know the real them...
So... by the time you have that all important first date, you should have hours of phone conversation under your belt... they should basically know who you are... and vise-versa.
There should be a comfort level... a vulnerability that isn't there when you hop right into "dating."
So... what are my date ideas?
1. Prepare a meal together. Tons of great conversation during the process... it's slightly time consuming... no distractions... you can concentrate on each getting to know each other and have a great meal... or at least a meal that you've prepared...
2. The museum. There are lots of different things to see/talk about. Whether you like art or not, it's a nice place to walk/talk... and... it's climate controlled!
3) Walmart. Yes, I said it... Walmart. Walmart is honestly a one stop shop place that has EVERYTHING. As you meander aimlessly through the store, you get can an understanding of everything from the types of foods that the other person likes to what kinds of pots/pans they have in their kitchen!
4. The bookstore. Even if the other person isn't an avid reader, there are a lot of interesting banners declaring the types of books in a section. If she sees "Self help" and picks up books on how to deal with depression... you know RIGHT AWAY.... just kidding. You can go to the travel section, look at parts of the world your interested in visiting... see what titles catch each others eye, look at magazines... a lot of good conversation starters.
5. Play tourist. Get out your digital camera... spend some time together deciding where you want to go locally. Decide where you want to take pictures. The fun of getting there, blocking the photo... the memories of the first outing...
Okay... that's my list of first dates... not bad for an amateur eh?
To all you Moms out there... Happy Mother's Day!!!
1 comment:
Interesting... you say it's best to get to know each other a bit for a first date, but isn't that the point of a first date? I think there is way too much pressure on first dates to share all, for example, actually asking someone what they're looking for - marriage, friendship, etc. I actually knew a woman who would do that on first dates. She wondered why there weren't too many second dates.
I think a venture to a common interest is ideal. I jumped all over your bookstore idea. For me a second-hand bookstore is a heavenly place.... hee hee. I love movies too so that's always an interesting thing to try: a movie you both want to see followed by a dinner where you can discuss the movie and - in so doing - learn more about each other. And it's fine if you had very different takes on it, you learn even more that way than if you both go "oh yes, I agree completely."
Live music is great too... and personally I would never do anything on a first date that had any risk of physical discomfort or messing me up such as rock climbing or white-water rafting, but that is just me.
I would plan to keep it shorter than longer, to leave you both wanting more if it goes well, and potentially extending the first date into an epic situation, and ending the agony if it doesn't.
I'm so thrilled for you that you are exploring the possibilities. Have fun!
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