Now... that's love...

So... I got engaged this weekend. I had sent Lisa a picture of the ring... and she agreed that it was a nice ring...

BUT...

The things that she didn't communicate to me were BIG...

• It was VERY similar to the one that her deceased husband purchased her
• It was 1/2 carat smaller

So... she received the ring... she looked at it... she said thank you... then... came the honest communication.

"I am a little disappointed. I am use to a full carat... it's okay... I know we're engaged... I don't have to wear a ring..."

I listened carefully... heart breaking slightly inside. I know what my budget is and my dedication to become debt free and how I manage my finances... this was singularly the most expensive thing that I had ever purchased for someone and I purchased it out of my "need" and not out of my excess.

I listened very carefully to what she said... I applauded her for telling me what she said. I value honest and open communication very much and I know how hard it was for her to be able to say that to me. That type of honesty and open communication is what I try hard to keep and maintain that.

Later on in the day, I pulled her aside and I apologized to her because I felt that I was being a hypocrite. I cannot embrace open and honest communication if I don't do it myself.

I talked with her about the ring... I reminded her of my current financial situation, and how the purchase was a sacrifice. She understands that my financial situation changes as I retire debt and my child support decree comes to an end...

She listened and said that she really felt sad that she was more concerned about what others felt than the depth of our love for each other.

Understanding how hard it was for me to say what I said... and for her to say what she said... we both agreed that what we had was far more valuable than anything that anyone else would say...

It took her less than a half day to start wearing the ring because it had true symbolism and meaning... it meant I loved her hard enough to sacrifice for her... and that she loves me enough to not care what others will say.

I think we're going to be okay... because we have something rare... a true and deep love.