The last time...

I could tell a LOT more stories of brokenness, but I always rebounded after those, so the pain... or lack of pain doesn't come from there.

I do remember the last time that I felt for someone tho.

After we had decided to divorce... once it was final I made the mistake of seeing someone named SK.

It was way too early - so to have a "safe guard" I asked her if we could continue to get to know each other - take 2 years... really get to know each other well.

We used to stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking - getting to know each other - developing a great bond.

I actually had a connection with her.

I was letting down my guard. She is still the only person on the planet that knows more about who I am than anyone else. With her, I was emotionally bare.

The problem was... SK wanted to get married. Immediately. And I wanted to stick with the timeline... further, the divorce wasn't final yet - and I promised myself - promised myself, that I wasn't going to jump into anything.

2 years to date someone isn't irrational.

But it was for SK.

I had this friend... SL. He, more than anything wanted to be married.

They sensed each other in the air... they met.

I remember when she called and told me that they were going to see each other and that she couldn't see me any more.

It felt like a hand reached into my soul and tore it out.

I cried.

It was the type of cry that starts from your belly and bends you over in pain.

I remember sitting across from her telling and watching her tell me that she loved him when I knew it was a lie.

They married 30 days later.

Divorced 16 months after that.

The last time I felt was when she said good bye.