Monday, April 21, 2008

The "Parental Gambit"

In chess, there is this play called a gambit. A gambit is a chess opening in which a player risks one or more pawns or a minor piece to gain an advantage in position.

After "the incident" on Saturday I played the tough love parental gambit.

I was prepared to let it play for for 2 days, but it honestly took less than 24 hours.

I basically refused to lift a finger. I let Mom do everything on her own. I made sure it was inconvenient. If Dad was uncomfortable in the bed... I let it be.

Mom came to me and said - "He's given up. This is too tough. Do what you have to do."

Breakthrough.

I sat her down and said "I love you Mom, but you are going to have to learn to deny your basic impulse to speak out."

Great... Now I'm not handling a 2 front war. It's a 1 front war... time to work on Dad.

Dad, was tougher.

The abbreviated form of the conversation was - "Okay, Dad. I'm calling your physical therapist, occupational therapist and cancelling your services - and I'm going to go home."

He said - "Who's going to take care of me if you're gone?"

"If you're going to just stay in bed... you don't need me here. I don't want to watch."

"I guess I have to get out of bed."

Victory!

Dad and I are back to normal now. He's looking at me. Smiling. That connection is back.

As for Mom? We're getting closer.

Despite the minor set back, there's a lot of good healing going on.

Thanks for all the prayers, positive thoughts and encouragement.

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